Wednesday, December 31, 2014

We Have A Protocol!

So, Its been a hot minute since my last post. And I've re-edited this to include a little bit more of the story.

My last post included information that we were about to go to our follow up apt with the RE (doctor). Knowing already that we have to wait until my thyroid levels out, I wasn't so sure that this appointment was going to be what I wanted it to be. Would the doctor strike my plan out until further notice? Would we have to wait even longer to start? And the results of everything, what would be our official "diagnosis"? Was it "me," was it "him?"

Feeling everything at once, I was more excited than anything. This doctor apt meant one step closer, even though we had to wait. It was 'movement' in our baby to be journey.

The results. Everything is just fine with the husband. So that meant it was "me." I mean, after close to 11 years of not,not trying I kind of already knew this. I'm the one with all the funky ailments. But to hear it officially, was hard for me. Yet at the same time (unlike the last diagnosis) we had a base line on where to go from here. Continuing down the list of results, my sugars are fine, everything is ok from the PCOS panel done. My ovarian reserve was a disappointing 2, when they like to see a 4 or better. This could mean that I might not have any good eggs left, or that the eggs I do produce are not good enough to sustain life. When I heard this, I knew exactly what the doctor was saying because I have done enough research to know what "ovarian reserve" meant. And I lost it. The tears just pored, I couldn't help it. Even now as I'm typing this I'm getting teary.
But with that said. Like every fingerprint, every ovary is different. This is just one number out of all the other factors that are involved in this awesome science experiment I call "getting pregnant." So, I push this information all the way back into my mind and decide to focus on the positive.
Then I get hit with the hemoglobin number. I am border line 5.7, when they want to see a 6 or below. So after the holidays, it was time to again-focus on me, myself and I and get my mind right and lose the weight. I have to admit, its been a struggle. More of a struggle than I thought I would be. I've done it before, so what's this issue? Well, as silly as it sounds I'm an emotional eater. And this is one heck of an emotional roller coaster. Hence, the struggle. I have to give credit to my dear husband. Being a man, he is kind of removed from emotions of what a women would be going through and has always brought be back to earth, or eased my pain, or just be there when I needed to vent.

But! I did get what I ultimately wanted. We have our protocol (game plan!!). I am getting my blood work done this week and then impatiently wait by the phone to hear from my endocrinologist "go!"  Once I get the go, its time to order all the meds and then we'll be starting our treatment plan apx Feb 20th. So long as my PCOS doesn't rear its ugly head, and its a normal cycle.

So here goes; I'll put it all in lamens terms:

Medications I'm currently on:
Metformin 2000 mg
Synthroid 88 mcg

Day 1 I call into the doctors to say Hey!
Day 3 will be blood work, and sonogram to check out everything. I'll get the results in the afternoon and given instructions regarding the Clomid, Gonadotropin and schedule monitoring appointments.
Day 3-7, Clomid 50mg 
Day 7 & 9, Injections. Fun. Gonadotropin (Bravelle 75iu) injection as instructed.
Day 10, ultrasound and bloodwork. Will be called in the afternoon with results. Possible 'trigger injection' (Ovidrel). Also start Prometrium (progesterone) until told not to. (BFN).

Then we "try" and hope and pray for the best.

We'll do 2 or 3 cycles of this. Then move onto IUI. Same procedure, but instead of timed "trying" they'll take his sample, clean it out so that they get the best of the best and shoot it up in the catheter so they'll end up near the tubes.
Then pray.
Another 2 or 3 cycles of this.

If that doesn't work, IVF here we come.

We'll cross this bridge when/if we get close to this process (if the other 4/6 cycles don't work, we're looking at late summer, early fall). All I really know is that is the same sort of process as above, but they'll take out any/all eggs and match it with the clean husband sample.. cross their arms, wrinkle their noses and poof.. we'll have embryos. Then the embryo's goes through their own 5 day process..  and whatever makes it though, we'll decided to put back in 1 or 2 embryos..  and do my down crossing arms, wrinkle my nose... and poof -twins-.

Twins? I'm down for it. I know what it means. I've thought about this for a long time. So long as there is no major complications, its kind of what I want to happen. But that also means huge lifestyle changes. We have a 2 bedroom 1 bath house.. so eventually we'd have to move. I have a tiny 2 door car, that I will try to make it work. But if my husband cant get fit his lunch box in the back seat, how I am supposed to fit a car seat, let a lone car seat with a baby or two? So that means a new car. And probably a second new car. My husband has my older crv, but has turned it into a 'man car/contruction' vehicle. Ok -yes we can clean it up...  but the car is also used to haul trash on a weekly bases. Would you put a car seat in garbage truck? probably not.. so.. that's my answer.

But I also know that we can very well put in 2 embryo's and only 1 can 'stick'.. which is also totally cool with me. One baby is all I ever really wanted.
We'll only have to make such decisions if we have to go that route. Hopefully not. Hopefully it will all happen the 1st round. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

So this brings me to the very end of 2014. Just like 2013, this year couldn't end sooner. My very good friend told me that this year (2015) will be the "Year of Kim." And I have no doubt, she's right.
2015 - I cant wait to meet you.

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

"You're up then you're down"

That's exactly how it has been for the last two or so weeks. I'm getting back up there. Every time I feel less than, I try to mentally throw my hands up to the Lord, take a deep breath and pray for strength and comfort, remembering that he works at his own pace and to trust in that.
I keep getting signs from him which I find encouraging. Another random experience with the nurse who was there when I had my procedure done (more on that in a minute) that she too has PCOS and is on the same medication as me and has had two kids, trying for a 3rd. Another one during my doctors apt yesterday (more on that one too), she was telling me that one of her patients was able to get pregnant on just Metformin too. I hope its just that easy for me.

This entry will just be a quick update. There hasn't been any major changes, and probably wont have any in December except for one more doctors apt, which is our follow up with the fertility doctor. 

Last week I had my procedure done to remove the polyp. I didn't end up getting knocked out, but probably should have been. It was painful. I hope I never have to do that again. I wasn't in the 'picture taking mood,' but I wanted to capture this poster of a beach scene on the ceiling, so when you're laying on the table, you look right at it. Its a nice gesture I suppose. I spent the rest of the day on the couch watching all my dvr episodes of all things Bravo TV.

Yesterday I met with my endocrinologist to discuss my results of my now Hyper thyroid, I am usually Hypo. We also discussed my actions with the fertility doctors, she was happy to see that I am trying for a baby. I have been with this doctor for years now, so its nice to go through 'life events' and it seem like she truly cares that I am successful. Because of this change, my dosage has been adjusted and she wants me to wait until 6-9 weeks (until blood test show my levels) before I start any treatments with fertility.
Having a hyperthyroid increases the risk of miscarriages, low birth rate, among other problems.
Another road bump, but...  I will gladly (after a quick prayer and a deep breath) wait another cycle or two in order to have the most healthy and successful pregnancy. This will now put me late January, most likely February before I can move forward with treatments.

As mentioned, we are having our follow up apt with the fertility doctor on the 18th. All test, procedures, results will have come back and reviewed. I'm hoping to come out of this appointment with "the game plan," even though we wont be able to start it right away.

Until then, I will enjoy the holidays with family. Bake cookies. Take advantage of any nice days, go for walks. Get into some good books. And start the new year with a clear head, ready for my mission.

"Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs and don't forget to thank him for his answers. If you do this you will experience Gods peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ Jesus." Philippians 6-7